Kali's next important inroad into the mainstream was her sudden elevation into the role of being a wife of Shiva. It was, in a sense, inevitable. Both are wild outsider gods totally indecorous and oblivious to convention, living in inhospitable terrain and associating with all the freaks and oddballs in creation. The difference being that Shiva is presumed to be an ultra cultured and civilized person who chooses to live so out of caprice and a peculiar sense of humor, while Kali is essentially wild and untamable. She can be worshipped by civilization but never be subsumed by it. Unlike most other goddesses who were put firmly in place by being married off to supposedly superior male gods, Kali's marriage did nothing to tame her.

This is exemplified in the many stories popular in South India as to how Shiva had a trying time with his turbulent wife and he usually chooses a dance competition to show her that he is the Great God and must be obeyed.

Mortifyingly, the wild Kali has no problem matching anything that Shiva Nataraja, the Lord of the Dance can come up with. Finally he dances in the Urdhava Tandava posture, a movement that is indecorous in the extreme. Kali refuses to follow suit, because she is not deliberately shameless and he wins. It has long been recognized as a hollow victory though there are some feeble attempts to interpret it as Kali finally learning modesty.